Ruthless Aggression #13: New Year’s Revolution (Jan 7 2007) Part 3

Previously on On the Card: Brilliant, bloody match that was saved from Trips hurting himself.

Backstage, Todd Grisham stumbles through a recap of the last match before introducing John Cena, who is the best Cena. Todd asks Cena if he is able to beat Umaga tonight.  Todd asks John if Umaga wants some, will he gets some? Cena gives a great promo, ripping the piss out of Umaga and a vaguely racist Samoan slur. He tells “the truth”, that he will fight a man who has not lost, never been pinned nor submitted in his time in the Fed. John says that he will defend the championship as best he can and it doesn’t matter on the outcome. He gives the salute and leaves.

Back in the arena, there are boos, probably for Cena, real boos that aren’t the piped-in cheers that they do when Cena normally turns up.

Carlito appears with Torrie Wilson and a dog. JR tells us that Torrie is his favourite person from Idaho, which isn’t saying much. Huh? I don’t know much about Idaho.

We see a promo where Chris Masters puts the Masterlock on Torrie. It’s just a full nelson. That’s all it is. Torrie is smiley despite the fact that she shouldn’t really be.

Chris Masters’ music hits and out he comes, the Masterpiece. Some pyro hits and he showboats for the crowd. He asks them if they know who the man is (apparently him) and more shitty pyro goes off.

Chris Masters def Carlito (w/ Torrie Wilson) via pin in 05:56.

The match starts pretty quickly. This is the usual piss-break match where everyone can leave before Cena comes out for the main event. Carlito deserves better than this. He hits the facebuster from Bret’s rope and takes a huge back-body drop from Masters. Another body drop from Roidy McMasters and a kick to the face as well. Good man yourself. Carlito escapes a backdrop and jumps onto the apron. Carlito hits a lovely double springboard moonsault onto Master but gets only a two-count. JR tells us that the Masterlock is just a full Nelson. Fair enough. Masters gives a one-arm backdrop where Carlito sells like a boss and lands on his face.

Masters drags Carlito about by the hair and JR complains that the ref does naught to stop it. Lovely backdrop and backbreaker on Carlito but despite it all, Carlito isn’t selling as much as he should. Torrie hits out perfect time on the mat, unlike Sable, who can’t batter in time at all. Terrible woman. Masters goes for a pin but fails. He shouts at Carlito, asks if he is trying to impress Torrie. A shitty springboard elbow from Carlito followed by a running knee and a side flapjack which only gets a two-count. Then there’s a weird manouver that Masters pulls the tights on Carlito and gets the pin in 5:56.

2016 comments:

Piss-break match and Carlito deserves better.

2006 comments:

This Chris Masters guy is a real piece of shit.

Grade: C

Masters hits the Masterlock for a few seconds, drops Carlito, points at him and wipes his eyes. What a wet fart. He leaves the ring with a strut, stops, turns around, comes back to the ring, scares Torrie away and decides to finally leave for real. JR says, “He has so little character that he would just do that.” Scathing.

Promo for the maaaaaain event: Umaga vs. Cena. We get that Umaga is super tough and Cena is super tough and this is going to be a match. As a mark, people would be going bananas for this. “Who will win?” they will ask, “How can Cena win this? Umaga is undefeated!” As a smark, people are asking, “How can Cena win whilst putting Umaga over?” and “Does Umaga deserve to be Fed Champ?”

We’re about to find out as Umaga appears, nine months of an undefeated streak and has had matches for ages as well, unlike people like Brock or Goldberg who wrestle once a year or so. Armanda Alejandro Estrada follows him but does not take the mic, thank Christ.

Cena’s music hits and the crowd goes bananas. I love Cena. I say this a lot. I know that he can be boring, especially at this time in history, but I just think he’s the bees knees. He comes down to the ring, throwing up the championship belt and not getting to the end of his song! Whaaaat? They must be trying to get the match over and done with as quickly as possible.

WWE Championship match: John Cena def Umaga (w/ Armanda Alejandro Estrada) via pin 17:18.

JR tells us that he does not envy the referee, Mike Chioda, nor does he envy John Cena. The match starts with quick-paced high-powered moves where Cena gives Umaga a facebuster, throws the Samoan out of the ring (where he goes bananas, like the savage he is) and waits for Umaga to go to the apron before attempting to knock him off and getting thrown out of the ring himself. Umaga throws Cena against the steel steps and chucks him into the ring. The crowd bay for Cena and Umaga charges him into the corner before hitting Cena with a great clothesline.

Umaga takes a bunch of punches before hitting Cena with a great Samoan Drop. Fantastic. Looked terrific, good man yourself. Cena gets to the apron and knocks Cena onto the table. Umaga intimidates the ref and walks out of the ring. JR says, “C’mon guys, we’ve had enough of this over here!” as the two threaten to damage the announcer’s table once more. Cena hits two shoulder barges and a great sunset flip that he Aloha Arns for a while before attempts to leg drop Cena but he rolls out of the way. Cena attempts to scoop Umaga for the body slam, fails and Umaga almost gets the pin. Umaga hits the leg drop and Cena is, once again, knocked onto the apron. Cena hits the guillotine and goes to the top rope with a great lariat that Umaga catches, turning it into a tiltawhirl sidewalk slam. Cena gets the foot on the rope before Umaga can get the three.

Big headbutts from the Samoan to our man John. John is up and finally gets a great sunset stunner on Umaga but the Samoan is up with the spinning kick following another headbutt. JR equates Umaga to Yokozuna, both Samoans. Umaga does a giant sit on Cena. On the third, Cena’s knees come up and get the Samoan in the balls. Cena goes for the FU but cannot lift him up. Christ, it looks like a bad fall. Cena gets chucked out of the ring by Umaga and there’s some showboating for a while. Cena is trying to hulk up in the middle of the ring and the pair have a little massage for a while. It’s all very nice.

Cena fights to his feet, breaks Umaga’s hold, gets a little momentum and is knocked to the floor. Umaga goes to Bret’s rope for a flying Samoan Spike but Cena rolls out of the way and we have a wee lie down by both men. Cena shakes the arm, building up to an FU. The pair trade punches mid-ring and Cena gets a big head of steam up before Umaga punches him to the ground. Cena throws Umaga into the corner twice, hits the sit-out powerbomb, gets ready for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, sells for a while and builds to the FU. Cena, once again, cannot lift Umaga up and he gets a belly-to-belly for his efforts. Umaga puts Cena into the tree of woe and gets a flying headbutt. Umaga builds up some momentum, runs at Cena and the champ gets a roll-up and wins in 17:18.

2016 comments:

Good match where no one goes over. The end lost all speed, though, and was a bit of a let-down.

2006 comments:

How did Umaga not kick out?

Grade: A-

Cena falls backstage as Umaga runs around in the ring, angry as a nest of hornets. He smashes that which is not already smashed and Cena returns to take the heat away, just like Hogan.

The Go Home Stats.

Man of the Matches: For that wonderful blade job, only Randy Orton.

Woman of the Matches: Victoria, who actually looked like she could wrestle.

Montel Vontavious Porter Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence: Randy Ooooooooorton.

Best Spot: Johnny Nitro’s ball-busting cage-door-wishbone.

Hatches: Torrie Wilson and Victoria.

Matches: No title changes. Jeff Hardy retains his Intercontinental championship; Mickie James retains her Women’s Championship; Rated-RKO retain their World Tag Team belt and John Cena retains his WWE Championship.

Dispatches: Due to Triple H’s knee injury, we won’t see him for a while. We will not see Vladamir Kozlov either.

Closing Statements: A filler PPV once again, but a fun one and it gets me all excited for the upcoming Royal Rumble.

On the Card will return on January 28 2017 with the Royal Rumble 2007.

Ruthless Aggression #13: New Year’s Revolution (Jan 7 2007) Part 2

Previously on On the Card: A great opener and a “special match” which was shite.

Cut to the back and Vince and Coach as they speak about Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell. Very relevant, considering today. Vince books Donald vs. Rosie for Raw the next night. Coach sucks up to Vince, who walks away, disgusted. Ron Simmons appears behind Coach and says “Damn.”

Back to the arena, JR and Jerry big up this match as Kenny Dykstra comes down, dressed as Ric Flair and tells the ref to hold the ropes open for him. We show from Raw last week where Rated-RKO beat on the Nature Boy after Kenny beat him. Kenny cuts a shitty promo and Ric interrupts him.

Flair comes down and his robe is superior in many ways. Flair himself, of course, is one hundred and something years old, made of leather and is, in many ways, very disgusting.

Kenny Dykstra def. Ric Flair via pin in 10:02.

Lots of “wooo!”s from the crowd as the pair lock up. Kenny knocks Flair to the ground and gives it the Flair strut. Crowd start telling Kenny that he sucks and King calls them on it. Kenny punching Flair in the corner and Ric returns a few slaps that the crowd react to. Crowd is mostly dead despite a lovely back body drop from the Nature Boy. Kenny is thrown outside and the crowd cheer as Flair struts. Flair hits the hangman and Flair woos and runs around the ring. Flair hits a suplex to the outside as JR says “Golly” and “Doggone” in the same sentence. Kenny attempts the cover but gets naught and so gives Flair another suplex.

Kenny gets Flair in the old Boston Crab. Turns out that Kenny had just turned twenty in March 2006, so he is super young to be in this at all. Great stuff. Flair is having a lovely lie down and that super fan with the red hat in the front row is roaring at Flair. “Get up!” he cries, “Get up, you wallet!” Flair finally breaks the hold and Kenny gives him a couple of boots to the chest for his effort. Flair chops back and gets a big reaction from the crowd. Flair flops but Kenny returns to him, goes to apply the figure four but Flair reverses it into a roll-up. Flair goes to the top rope. Super fan says no. Kenny gives Flair a body slam from the top rope. Kenny jumps to the top rope, hits the missile dropkick and gets the shoulder up. Flair gives the thumb to the eye followed by two shots to Kenny’s knee. He gets ready for the figure four and the crowd goes wild for Kenny to tap. Oh, by Christ, they’re going bananas. Each time Kenny falls back, the ref goes for the pin. Kenny finally reaches the bottom rope.

Flair is going crazy on Flair in the corner and Kenny hits the low blow followed by a roll-up for the win in 10:02.

2016 comments:

Technically a good match, but a mess in the execution and crowd were so quiet that you’d think it was the piss-break match.

2006 comments:

Eugh.

Grade: C

Cut to Johnny Mundo in the backstage and he tells Melina to call Joey and tell her that the Hardys must pay. His balls are sore as well and that is important. Melina leaves and is intercepted by Victoria who needs Melina to write her name on a piece of paper so that Victoria can have a chance at the Women’s Championship. She then leaves before Melina signs.

Quick promo of Victoria coming to the ring for weeks with a checklist of her opponents, knocking them all off and ticking their names off on the list. We see that the crowd is dead during each match despite Victoria trying to do her best.

Back in the arena, Victoria’s must hits and she comes down to the ring with a pout on her face. She tells JR and King to “watch and learn,” to which JR replies with, “Happy new year.” JR puts her over.

Mickie’s music hits and down she skips to the ring with a face on her. Mickie taunts the crowd and Jerry tells us that he loves women’s matches and he is sure his fans do too. Yes, they do, Jerry, but they are the wrong type of fans.

WWE Women’s Championship match: Mickie James (c) def Victoria via pin in 6:49.

The women circle each other and Victoria gives Mickie a push. JR puts Victoria over. Awful full Nelson slam followed by a submission from Victoria. Mickie escapes an armbar with a cartwheel and the pair hold each other for a while. Shitty crowd, by the way. Some arm drag takedowns followed by a dropkick and Mickie is in control. Mickie goes to Bret’s rope but is kicked out to the outside by Victoria, who gives her a baseball slide followed by a Samoan Drop onto the barricade. Victoria gives a look to Lilian, who stands, hands on hips, confused. Mickie attempts a roll-up but fails. Victoria heels it up with some lovely chokes and a knee to the back. Victoria gives Mickie a hair pull toss and JR calls her a “sexy little Frisbee.” Victoria hits the Brets-rope-standing-moonsault but Mickie rolls away. Lovely bunch of clotheslines and Mickie is in control, punching Victoria in circles, hitting the clothesline and just failing to get the three. Victoria takes over but Mickie hits the head-scissor takedown, runs at Victoria on the apron and the crowd boo as Melina turns up to help Victoria. Melina gets slapped, Mickie goes for the DDT but Maria and Candice turn up, messing up the next few spots until Mickie reverses a powerslam into a DDT and gets the pin in 6:49.

2016 comments:

Wow. An actual not-bad women’s match. The ending made it look shit, but everything before was fine, just fine.

2006 comments:

Is… is this what women’s wrestling is supposed to be like?

Grade: C

Promo for the upcoming Tag Team match with Edge introducing Ric Flair onto the Cutting Edge. He arrived covered in blood and got a bunch of chair shots to the head. Pretty gruesome. Shawn is pretty upset that Rated-RKO did that. Edge hits Trips with a steel chair at a RAW and then the Rated-R superstar and the Legend killed kick seven shades of shite out of DX. Very obvious chair shots to the ground as opposed to the heads of their opponents.

“Are you ready?” DX’s music asks. The crowd cheers in response. The men come out, giving people epileptic fits with their strobed entrance. Trips holds water in his mouth for far too long before spitting it and then they crotch-chop some pyro. Shawn gives us a wee run in a circle. Good man yourself. DX were once one of the most over tag teams in the Fed and here they are, pandering to the crowd like a pair of Hulk Hogans. Trips gets the mic, thinks for a while and asks them if they are ready. They are. There is no discussion. Trips says that right now, the fans are seeing the, “frosty, sugary side of DX,” which Shawn likes, but soon they will see the “ass-kicking side of DX,” which doesn’t sound like a nice cupcake or whatever.

Rated-RKO’s awesome music hits and they pair of bastards turn up with Edge looking serious as fuck. DX jump out and run to the ramp to beat on Rated-RKO before the match begins. Edge is thrown into the crowd and suplexed back into the arena. Randy gets some lovely chops from our boy Shawn. Trips back-body drops Edge onto the steel of the ramp. Michaels is about to take a suplex but denies it, throwing Randy into the steel steps. Shawn and Edge make it into the ring and finally the bell rings.

WWE Tag Team Championship match: Rated-RKO (Randy Orton and Edge) (c) def D-Generation X (Triple H and Shawn Michaels) via no contest in 23:20.

Shawn takes no prisoners with Edge and DX chants rise as Trips is tagged in, pulling on Edge’s nose. We see a rare tweener babyface team here as Shawn distracts the ref. Trips chuck Edge into the corner and Shawn hangs on the ropes, booting Edge in the face before being tagged in. Edge dodges a spear from Shawn and Randy is tagged in. Orton punches Michaels in the corner but Michaels hits a lovely snapmare and kicks Orton in the head. Another shot to the ribs and Trips is tagged in, hitting Orton in the face with a lovely punch, giving him a knee drop. Shawn distracts the ref again as Trips hits Orton in the face on the apron. Another ref distraction and Shawn gives Orton a leg drop. Orton is bleeding already from a cut on his forehead. Did he blade? I saw it not.

Shawn has some of Orton’s blood on his chin as he gives Orton some lovely shots, hoping to bleed him further. Trips then does it loads, opening up the Legend Killer. Edge gives Trips a cheap shot and is pulled into the ring. Ref distraction again and now it’s Rated-RKO’s turn to double team. Edge comes in, boots Trips a bunch and steps back to give Trips some air. The crowd chant for DX as Trips has a wee lie down in the corner. Edge works on Trips’ leg and showboats for the crowd. He hits a “woo!” attempts a figure four but Trips fights back. Shawn comes in for the hot tag but cleans house, kipping up, atomic drop, body slam, goes to the top rope and hits the elbow drop. Orton is in, however, knocking Shawn down before Trips tosses him out himself. Edge goes for Shawn and both men are dropped outside. Michaels suicide dive and Trips is at the top rope, eager to join in.

Edge spears Michaels on the apron and now everyone is down. Orton has the championship belt and hits Michaels with it. Ref must not have seen it but Michaels has bladed bad and his face is a crimson mask on the outside. Jesus Christ. Edge pulls Michaels in with his hair and Edge batters on Michaels like mad, tagging in Orton who gives Shawn an inverted backbreaker which only gets a two-count. Orton stomps on Shawn for a while and gets another two-count. Edge tags in and both men have been pounding on Shawn for ages. Great Irish whip into the corner. Edge is covered in Shawn’s blood and gives Michaels another backbreaker, getting only a two-count. Orton is tagged in and punches Shawn on the back a lot. He attempts a pin with one foot on Shawn’s chest but gets two counts.

Randy rakes Shawn’s eyes – lot of illegal manoeuvres in this match – and Rated-RKO give Shawn a double backbreaker. Trips comes in to break the count and Edge gives Shawn a lovely stretch as the two sit down for a bit. Shawn fights back and gets to his feet, big cheers from the crowd. Lots of Flair chops and Michaels hits the backdrop. Crowd are cheering for a hot tag. Edge has Shawn’s foot and the pair chop for a while before Edge kicks Shawn in the face and tags in Orton, who crawls around like a damned snake. Almost… like a viper…

Shawn gets to his feet and we see an RKO but Shawn counters it! Hot tag builds again and both men tag in. Edge and Trips run the ropes and Trips cleans house, giving Edge a facebuster, giving Orton a spinebuster, attempting a pin on Orton despite the fact that he’s not legal. Trips has a hurt knee – a legit injury – and the match slows down as the guys talk about how much it hurts. An attempt at a Pedigree that fails. An attempt at an RKo that fails. Shawn hits the Sweet Chin Music as the men decide what to do. Edge goes to Trips but he kicks out. The match stops entirely. Randy and Edge speak in the corner. Trips avoids the spear, hops about the place, hits a single-leg Pedigree, goes for the cover but Edge kicks out. Shawn jumps in, gets a ref bump, gets the chair, busts Edge, busts Randy who blades like a boss. DX destroy Rated-RKO with steel chairs for a bit. Shawn asks Trips something and the Cerebral Assassin nods. Shawn begins to destroy the announce desk and apparently Edge has bladed too, though it is much more shallow than Randy’s.

Edge is on the announcer’s table, Randy is thrown on the other. Trips goes to Pedigree Edge but the table doesn’t break, according to JR, the table, “didn’t give a damn.” Shawn elbow drops Randy. It’s a fucking massacre. Shawn starts to dance. Randy is bleeding badly. Shawn and Trips hug and their music hits. They take the belts (despite not winning them legit) and celebrate. We see a replay for the bad spinebuster and how Trips’ knee crumbles underneath him. Three blade jobs in one improvised match. Not bad. I guess the match ends in an unofficial no contest in 23:20.

2016 comments:

Great improvised finish made better by Randy’s mental blade job. It would have been better if the officials had come out to break it up, caused a schmoz and justified that out of character ref bump by HBK though.

2006 comments:

Blood, blood, gallons of the stuff!

Grade: A-

On the Card will return on January 21 2017 with the third and final part of New Year’s Revolution 2007.

Ruthless Aggression #13: New Year’s Revolution (Jan 7 2007) Part 1

Ruthless Aggression #13: New Year’s Revolution – January 7, 2007.

The Ruthless Aggression Era was a time when the WWE roster was so huge and so varied that they had no way of continuing storylines each week on their two main shows – RAW and Smackdown – and so they created the draft where wrestlers and announcers would be drafted onto either one of the two shows. Smackdown wrestlers would not (usually) be able to appear on Raw or interact with Raw wrestlers and vice versa.

Ten years ago, on January 7, 2007, the third and final New Year’s Revolution aired. It was a RAW PPV, the first of its kind since Cyber Sunday in November 2006. Personally, the PPV came at a time where I had grown weary with professional wrestling, confused by the sheer number of wrestlers and unwilling to spend so much time per week watching hours of footage and trawling through shows, replays, promos and matches. I simply watched the PPVs. Over the next four weeks, I will review this PPV from the perspectives of a fan looking back at it after a decade as well as my original thoughts as a younger man watching it at the time.

Armageddon 2006

The Revolution Continues…

Aww yiss. The poster shows Trrrrrriple H and Shawn Michaels in period garb, dressed like the Founding Fathers. They are holding a badly photoshopped DX-claration of Independence with their signatures at the bottom and DX sprayed over it in green. The tagline suggests that their feud against Vince isn’t over.

There are fucking CGI dragons at the start! And they’re breathing right into your face! WWE Raw presents New Year’s Revolution, as a real metal dragon bursts out pyro and JR reminds us that it is 2007, but has no time to introduce himself or Jerry “The King” Lawler before the Intercontinental championship begins…

But wait, a promo hits, showing Randy Orton and Edge kicking seven shades out of DX, busting them both open. Triple H welcomes Rated-RKO to “The Other Side”, which is a bunch of comics about cows.

We cut to Umaga, destroying everyone in his path, facing John Cena later for the WWE Championship.

(Note: Before the PPV began, there was a dark match featuring Vladimir Kozlov and Eugene, Which Kozlov won. This is his second dark match in a row, one being on Armageddon 2006.)

Back in the arena, the Steel Cage has dropped and Lillian Garcia reveals the rules: the only way to win is by pinfall, submission or leaving the cage.

MNM’s music hits and out comes Johnny Nitro with Melina. The lads botch the red carpet at the start and the cameras attempt to introduce JR and Jerry, but keep knocking back to the ramp, where Nitro and Melina are walking down. Jerry mentions that Johnny Nitro’s name is up there with K-Fed. Really? He also mentions that there was a K-Fed vs. Cena match on New Year’s day, which would have been RAW Monday 1st January 2007, obviously.

Hardy’s music hits and down comes Jeff, the Intercontinental champion. What a lad. What a high, high lad. Hardy is right in the cage, jumping up to the top of the cage, sitting there and jumping down.

The match is about to begin, but we haven’t yet been introduced to our broadcast colleagues, or to the Spanish announcers. It takes place in the Kemper Memorial Arena in Kansas City, Missouri, with a total of 10,000 in attendance (the maximum attendance for the arena is actually 18,344, but that was lowered for this PPV, probably because they couldn’t sell all of the tickets) and 220,000 PPV buys at home, much less than the 294,000 from the previous year. Still, the money made from the event was more than last year with $107 million rather than the $95 million from 2006.

Steel Cage Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: Jeff Hardy (c) def Johnny Nitro via leaving a cage in 14:49.

The crowd bays for Hardy instantly and the two men circle each other. Hardy makes the crowd clap and Johnny starts taking control, working on Hardy’s lower back. Hardy fights back, stomping Nitro into one corner and Irish whipping him into the other. Hardy goes for a ten punch and reaches all ten before Nitro collapses. Hardy goes for the cover but Nitro escapes. Nitro then reverse-flapjacks Hardy. Melina screams as Hardy gives the facebuster suplex but Nitro replies with a springboard kick to the face. Lots of covers in this match, almost like they think that a steel cage match will end by either pinfall or submission.

Lovely lariat and mother men are on the ground. Hardy crawls toward the cage door but is dragged back by Nitro. Hardy goes to climb out and Nitro grabs him before dropkicking Hardy’s legs. Melina screams again, the loud bitch. Hardy is caught between the cage wall and the ring ropes and Nitro is really going to town on him. Nitro goes to escape, but Hardy catches him and the two men fall as Hardy dropkicks Nitro off. Hardy landed on his hip but reverses an Irish whip into a sprint up the cage wall. Nitro reverses this into a botched super backdrop where he lands on his feet before falling back. Looks a bit guff, being honest. Hardy flapjacks Nitro into the steel cage and tries to climb it.

Both men are on the top rope and Hardy Russian leg sweeps Nitro off. Hardy climbs onto the turnbuckle and Nitro climbs on Hardy to help himself up. From the top of the cage, Nitro sunset flips Hardy, turning it into a powerbomb where Jeff’s head bounces off the canvas. Johnny starts to climb and makes it to the top before Jeff is on his feet. Johnny’s legs get caught in the cage, sending him into a tree of woe, which legit looks like it really fucking hurts. I cringe just looking at it. Melina takes her belt off and whips at Jeff by the cage side. Nitro takes advantage and dropkicks Jeff. Both men down.

We have a wee lie down as one red hat jerk in the crowd jaws off to Melina. It’s real to him, dammit. Nitro goes for a lariat and Jeff turns it into a cross body before hitting the Swanton Bomb from the top rope. Jeff goes for the cover yet Nitro’s leg is on the rope. Didn’t think that rope-breaks counted in a cage match as it is no-DQ… but maybe that only works with the submissions? Jeff hits the back body drop and Nitro once again makes his way to the top of the cage. Nitro is on the edge and about to fall off when Hardy attempts a super Twist of Fate and botches it. Nitro does not know what to do and begins a climb to the top again. Jeff is crawling towards the door but Melina is blocking it. Nitro’s foot is on the door when Jeff kicks the door open, wishboning Nitro on the top of the door, allowing Hardy to leave and retain the championship in 14:49.

2016 comments:

Great curtain jerker again by these two fantastic lads, despite the fuckups.

2006 comments:

It’s rare to start a PPV with a steel cage match but I’m glad it did.

Grade: A-

Todd Grisham is backstage and speaking to Randy Orton and Edge, the World Tag Team Champions of Rated-RKO. Todd asks them why this feud with DX is so personal. Edge tells him that DX reformed to have fun and Rated-RKO formed to take them down. Randy agrees, telling Todd that Rated-RKO are fighting for their future, which is funny because Edge doesn’t have many years left in his future as he would retire four years later in 2011 after WrestleMania XXVII.

Back in the arena, Lilian introduces a special bonus match: Tag Team Turmoil! I hate TTT. It’s a shitty Royal Rumble for tags. The winner becomes number one contenders for the tag team belts.

First out is our boys, the Highlanders!

Then, the World’s Greatest Tag Team: Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. Both have dragons on their backs, obviously loving the dragons here at New Year’s Revolution.

Tag Team Turmoil Match for the number one contender for the WWE Tag Team Championship: Cryme Tyme def Lance Cade and Trevor Murdock, The Highlanders, The World’s Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) and Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Super Crazy via elimination in 19:03.

Hoo-boy, this is going to be… a match.

Charlie Haas and Robbie start off. Charlie is thrown into the corner and both Highlanders double suplex him before having a lovely Irish whip dodge ending with a weak drop toe hold. JR takes the time to describe the difference between the Highlanders: Rory is older and bald, Robbie is younger and hairy. Shelton Benjamin jumps over Charlie’s back to land on Rory’s arse. Shelton is tagged in and delivers a knee to Rory. A lot of green glow sticks in the crowd making the DX symbol. Rory is in a chinlock but soon fights out of it. Shelton attempts a bodyslam but Rory falls on him and the two men struggle for a moment before Robbie gets the hot tag, clearing house. Robbie gives Charlie a lovely back suplex and is aout to be thrown into the right when Charlie rolls out. As Rory gets Robbie back, Shelton sneaks up, hits a lovely superplex on Robbie and gets the pin.

The Highlanders have been eliminated by The World’s Greatest Tag Team in 5:10.

A Challenger Appears: Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Super Crazy.

Hacksaw is gassed already. He delivers mental punches to Shelton and shouts his damn “Hoooooo!” every five seconds. Hacksaw gets beat on by Charlie as the crowd bay for Super Crazy. Shelton chokes Duggan with the ring ropes and eventually he fights back, hits the tepid tag and Super Crazy is in, hitting dropkicks, snapmares and a standing moonsault, which is impressive considering his size. He goes to jump top rope but Shelton knocks him out with a punch and Charlie pins him.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Super Crazy have been eliminated by The World’s Greatest Tag Team in 3:57.

A Challenger Appears: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch.

And now we see the two teams that people came to see. Cade takes over, beating on Benjamin and easily lifting up Shelton and slamming him down. Murdoch looks like a Hillbilly. Maybe that’s his gimmick. Shelton is getting beat on and Murdoch gives him the big boot over Cade’s head. Then we have a lovely rest hold. As Murdoch moves to face the hard cam. Cade gives Shelton the neckbreaker and gets only two-counts, sadly. Cade gives Murdoch a lovely Atomic-Drop-into-Leg-Drop onto Shelton Benjamin. Shelton goes for the hot tag and Haas is in, cleaning house. Murdoch hits a lovely T-Bone suplex where he doesn’t even drop. Haas goes for a submission move and Cade jumps off the top rope with an axe-handle-nothing and Murdoch pins him for the elimination.

The World’s Greatest Tag Team have been eliminated by Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch in 4:39.

A Challenger Appears: Cryme Tyme.

Yo yo yo yo! It’s Cryme Tyme! Brooklyn Brooklyn!

Shad and JTC turn up and Shad clears house before tagging in JTG, who gets thrown onto Cade. Mudoch is tagged in and JTC his knocked out of the ring. Cade calls him back in, goes for the pin, fails, and argues with the ref. Cade gives JTG another few punches and throws him against the turnbuckle. Murdoch gives JTG a bunch of chokes and another toss into the turnbuckle. Cade covers for Murdoch, who is choked by the tag ropes. Cade gives JTG a lovely punch and he goes down like a sack of spuds. Murdoch is in, taking over and punching JTG until there’s a lovely roll-up and the ref’s back is turned. Typical refs. Never watching.

Murdoch is taking over and JTG has been on the receiving end of his punishment for a while. Murdoch goes from Bret’s rope and gets countered, leading to an almost-hot tag that never comes as Cade knocks Shad off the apron. JTG escapes a double suplex and Shad is tagged in, clearing house for ten seconds before being knocked down. Shad lifts Cade up for a Samoan Drop after escaping a double team and the pain double-neckbreaker Cade for the pin in 19:03.

Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch have been eliminated by Cryme Tyme in 6:51.

Cryme Tyme are the new Number One Contenders for the Tag Team Championship!

Cryme Tyme celebrate and JR takes away from the win by saying that they had an advantage because they were the last team in the match.

On the Card will return on January 14 2017 with the second part of New Year’s Revolution 2007.