Ruthless Aggression #19. One Night Stand (June 3, 2007) Part 2

Previously on On the Card: Good old Hardys. Never miss a ladder match. Miss a lot of spots, though.

Cut backstage to Khali cutting a rambling promo on Cena in Punjabi. His translator gives his promo in English. It’s nothing to write home about.

Cut to the ring where Tony Chimel is introducing the Lumberjack Match, where twelve lads stand outside the ring and wait until someone falls out and they push them back in. [REDACTED] Benoit arrives, looking super pissed off that he is not competing. Behind him is Valentine Venis, Santino Marella, Balls Mahoney, Steven Richards, The Miz, Kevin Vampire Thorn, Chris Masters, Johnny Nitro, Chavo Guerrero, Kenny Dykstra mit dead fox and Carlito. There is little craic from them. Stevie Richards jumps on Balls’ back.

Somebody gon’ get they ass kicked! It’s Mark Henry! He’s out, covered in butter or whatever. The announcers sell the fact that Mark Henry is the World’s Strongest Man. This is before Game of Thrones, I suppose.

Big fiery pyro and Kane rocks out, popping into the ring and squaring up to Henry after hitting the turnbuckle pyro.

Lumberjack Match: Mark Henry vs. Kane.

This is the first match of the card that allows pinfall or submission, so you know it’s going to be great. Kane and Henry circle each other and Henry tosses him out. The Lumberjacks scatter, no way are they going near the Devil’s Favourite Demon. Big slow, methodical movement as Henry is tossed out. The Lumberjacks surround him and get tossed away easily. Henry rolls back in and he and Kane beat each other in the corner. Henry rolls out and Kane goes with him. The Lumberjacks are keeping their distance as Henry tosses him into the ringpost. Henry rolls into the ring and the Lumberjacks pick up Kane and allow him to enter. Henry continues to attack Kane’s back with double axe-handle nothings and club-like punches. Kane fights back with his great big punches and Henry retaliates with a powerslam. First pinfall attempt and a fail.

Kane headbutts out man Henry and gets knocked down for his effort. Both men are really selling the fact that they are glass cannons here. Both attacks do lots of damage. The fear is not that either men are impervious, more that regardless of their defence, their attack is brutal. Kane attempts a Rock Bottom but his back is sore. Val Venis is hammering out a tune on the ring, really reacting to everything in the ring. Cunt JBL gives off because he doesn’t like fun. Big rest hold city mid-ring as Mark hugs Kane. Kane falls to the floor and pulls Henry out. Kane goes top-rope, jumps and hits a bowling ball spot as the lads go sprawling everywhere. Chavo and Kenny help Kane back into the ring and two monsters punch each other for a while. Miz and Stevie Richards shout at each other as Kane goes to the top rope again, knocking Mark down, hitting a lovely chokeslam but two lumberjacks jump in before the pin can be applied.

Kane one-hand-chokeslams Kenny and Mark gives Kane another bear hug. Kane is hurt, he’s passing out. The ref is imploring him to quit, but he’s not giving up. The ref stops the match.

The match has finished due to ref stoppage. Mark Henry is the default winner in 9:07.

2017 comments:

Meh. It’s a nice way to get both men over as powerful without it being a stalemate but to end with a bearhug? I mean, come on, guys.

2007 comments:

Do you think that Kane and Henry are considered… bears?

Grade: C.

Not a good bunch of matches so far, if I’m honest. Replays of the match.

Cut to Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin who are complaining about the loss of the match. Shelton and Jeff square off. Punches are thrown. People break it up. It’s a real to-do, I tell you what.

Cut to Bobbo Lasher and McMahon Street Fight promo. Back in Wrasslemania, Vince got his head shaved by Cunt President Donald Trump and Stone Cold. Vince blamed Bobbo and took his ECW championship, which was bound to hurt him badly. Bobby beat a handicap match but Vince refused to give his championship up and so another rematch was called. Vince didn’t actually want one, but Shane protected his father’s ego by accepting. Makes little sense… unless Shane is trying to screw over Vince… again.

Justin Roberts introduces the Street Fight and its lack of disqualifications… which all matches so far have had. AND THEN GOD DAMMIT WWE YOU BRING OUT THE CHAMP FIRST AGAIN.

Vince rocks out with Shane and Umaga. Sure why not? It is his birthday. It is not his birthday. They’re talking about it being a three-on-one handicap match and Umaga being the “Samoan Bulldozer”. I’ve no real fear of that because Umaga has lost his winning streak. He’s pathetic now.

Bobby’s music hits and there is a decent pop for Roidy Lasher. He hits his pyro, covers himself in golden sparks and walks to the ring, hitting hit massive jump and more turnbuckle pyro.

Street Fight for the ECW World Championship: Vince McMahon (c) (with Umaga and Shane McMahon) vs. Bobby Lashley.

Shane and Vince in the ring, Bobby runs to the ropes, does a suicide dive, botches by holding onto the rope and barely grazes Umaha, who sells like death. Shane is hammering on Bobby, who knocks him down and tosses him out onto Umaga. Bobby and Vince are alone and the crowd goes wild as he rains punches on Vince. Shane rocks in, is tossed out, Umaga comes in and takes over for a second, but is thrown into a corner. Shane comes in with a chair, Lashley gets rid of him, tosses the chair and is about to hit Vince with a Dominator when Shane and Umaga take over, hitting Lasher with a DDT on the chair.

It’s three on one now and the first few minutes are forgotten as the pace slows, the men beat up Bobbo and he attempts to build up some babyface fire. Double team Irish whip into Vince, who kicks him in the balls. The announcers make it clear that something might happen on the table by moving back and saying, “uh oh!” Vince takes… a hammer? Something from a dude by the side of the ring. It’s a bell hammer, apparently. He doesn’t hit Lasher with it, just chokes him with it. Vince then chokes Lasher with a wire. We are halfway through the match here, not one pin attempt, neither announcer is making that a big deal. Umaga hits a lovely Samoan drop and a pin attempt is finally made but fails.

Vince hits a sad, sad spear on Lasher but gets nothing from the pinfall. Why he doesn’t get Umaga and Shane to hold Bobbo down during a pin is beyond me. Crowd is dead. Bobbo is held down by the McMahons and Umaga goes for the splash. Bobbo, at the last second, does a sit-up, Vince gets squashed and it’s time to go home. Both Shane and Umaga are tossed out. Bobbo gets the chair, cracks Vince with it and hammers on his back for a while. The announcers say that this is legal and a hell of a lot of fun to watch. Bobbo hits the Dominator, goes for the three but Umaga drags him out before he can get the pin.

Outside, Bobbo gets a chair after beating Umaga, but is knocked down. Umaga jumps to the floor from the apron and the announcer’s table is finally destroyed. Lashley is draped over the table, Shane goes to the corner and hits a lovely elbow that elicts, “Holy shit!” chants from the crowd. Bobby is thrown into the ring and a pin attempt is made and failed. Umaga rocks in to beat on Lasher in the corner. He rears back to hit the Rikishi arse-bump in the corner and Shane takes over with a trashcan, hoping to hit a Coast-to-Coast. No selling there from the younger McMahon. Bobby rolls out of the way at the last second, Umaga gets hit with the trashcan and Bobby gets his revenge with a spear once to Shane and then to Vince for the pin.

Bobby Lashley has pinned Vince McMahon to win the ECW World Championship in 12:23.

2017 comments:

A nice wee revenge match for the Lasher. Not amazing, but plays to the strengths of each other competitors and makes Lasher look really strong.

2007 comments:

I never get sick of seeing the McMahons lose.

Grade: B.

Lashley spears Vince again in the middle of his music. Replays shown and Bobbo goes to the back with his belt.

Cut to Maria and Santino chatting in Italian. They get interrupted by Todd who reminds Maria that Candice Michelle and Melina are having a pudding match. Maria spouts gibberish for a while. She doesn’t answer the question. Candice Michelle turns up and hits her three lines. She asks for a kiss for good luck and Maria gives her one. Santino says he loves America and Ron Simmons says, “Damn”. You couldn’t make this shit up.

Cut to the “pudding”, which seems to be filmed from a hoody.

Candice Michelle comes out and some very embarrassed fans hold up some very sad signs.

Melina’s music hits and out she comes. Both women are in bikinis. Melina even has goggles. JR tries to shill the next PPV. Both women stand awkwardly. This is going to be a long segment.

Pudding Match: Candice Michelle vs. Melina.

Of course, this match is not for the Women’s Championship, which makes it a waste of goddamn time even more than it was before I knew the title wasn’t on the line. Candice puts one foot in the pudding, grabs Melina and tosses her in. The women rock in the pudding for a while, slide out and get told to get back in. Candice slips. Sexy pin on the outside. JR and Jerry wonder about the rules of the pudding match. Double axe-handle nothing. The guys are finding it hard to realise who is who. The crowd chant for, “Boring.” There’s a DDT into the pudding. Jerry puts the sexiness of the women over. Candice drowns Melina and she taps out, well, slaps the pudding.

Melina has tapped out or suffered drowning in the pudding. Candice Michelle wins in 2:55.

2017 comments:

I would normally complain about this because women’s wrestling etc. but this match doesn’t pretend to be anything more than nonsense, so, in way, it’s the most successful match on the card.

2007 comments:

I wonder is it pudding.

Grade: Nooooope.

Maria turns up. Let’s see what happens.

She congratulates Candice on her win, Melina tosses pudding and Maria dives in. Then the ref is dragged in. Melina escapes and someone’s music plays as the faces hug.

On the Card will return on June 17 2017 with the third and final part of One Night Stand 2007.

Attitude Era #4. In Your House 10: Mind Games (Sept 22, 1996) Part 3

Previously on On the Card: We saw Owen Hart wrestle. Glorious.

Cut to Kevin Kelly backstage in the boiler room with Mankind and Paul Bearer. Bearer is brilliant, shrill and eeeeeevil. Bearer blames everyone for his betrayal. Mankind hugs the urn and tells everyone that he lives so that others may feel his pain. His destiny is to win tonight, reportedly. He does tell us to have a nice day, however.

Back in the ring, Jerry “The King” Lawler comes out to verbally abuse the crowd for a while. That’s not like you, Jerry! In the middle of the slagging, it cuts to Superstars earlier and Free-For-All when Jerry pours water on Mark Henry and slaps him. We can’t hear Jerry shout, though he does ask, of the Olympics, “If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do they all drown?” In the middle of his rant, music hits and out comes “The World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry. He’s wearing a USA singlet, throws his XXXL jacket into the crowd and Jerry is still slagging him. Jerry, listen, Henry is 400 pounds. You can’t lift him.

Mark Henry def. Jerry “The King” Lawler via submission in 5:13.

So, once again, we have a match where the winner is obvious. Will the wrestling legend win or the young upstart who did not compete in the Olympics? Either way, it is not a strong win because the opponents are not equals.

Jerry knows all about mind games, according to Vince. The King walks about the ring and USA chants rise for Henry. They lock up and King keeps him in a headlock. Henry reverses it to a hammerlock and pushes Jerry down. JR states, quite correctly, that Mark Henry does not need to do anything fancy. Just overpower Jerry. Do what you are booked to do. Mark gets Jerry in a headlock and it’s the King’s turn to reverse into a hammerlock. Henry reverses that hammerlock into another hammerlock and throws Jerry into the turnbuckle. Big clap rises and the pair chase each other about the ring. Jerry goes to bodyslam Mark and Henry lifts Jerry into a gorilla press and chucks him away.

Jerry runs at Mark… and bounces off him. He runs to Henry and is tossed through the ropes. Jerry cracks his head off the ground on the way out, goes back into the ring and puts his hands down his tights to hold something in his right hand, strengthening his punches. That son of a bitch. Henry gets the fight back and whups on Jerry mercilessly. King tries to escape and is placed in a backbreaker submission, where he almost instantly taps out. Mark Henry wins his debut match in 5:13.

2016 comments:

This was actually a very good match, psychologically speaking. Other than the (foolish) body slam attempt, Jerry uses his superior wrestling knowledge to keep control of Henry and when he is overpowered, he cheats sneakily, but is not caught. Henry comes across as the good, honest, All-American babyface and Lawler is the snide, wicked, arrogant heel. Jerry tapped too quickly on the backbreaker for my liking.

1996 comments:

I hate jingoism… but I hate Jerry “The King” Lawler even more.

Grade: B+

I am pleased but also disappointed that the best match so far is a Mark Henry and Jerry Lawler match. This might be the only time these two men make this list. Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy come in to beat on Henry but are thrown out. Then, young upstart Hunter Hearst Helmsley runs in, the rascal, and is tossed out onto the lads on the outside. JR: “Mark Henry beat the King and all the King’s men!”

Henry does a wee dance mid-ring as well. Fair play to him. Pyro goes off above the ring. All right. Calm down.

Coliseum Home Video Exclusive of Dok Hendrix in the locker room with new Tag Team champions, Slammy Award Winning Own Hart, the British Bulldog and Immigration Clarence Mason. The boys come over as faces despite their alliance with Camp Cornette. Owen says Clarence brought the boys luck. Mason is now their new manager. Good man.

Cut to a promo of the Undertaker working as a blacksmith, trying to make some extra money. We are reminded of the Taker/Goldust rivalry. Mankind is mentioned as well. Over the last few PPVs, Taker has only fought Goldust or Mankind. Great feud.

Back in the ring, Goldust has arrived with Marlena. Goldust falls from the ceiling.

The gong rises and the audience go mental as they await the Undertaker to walk out of the house. There he is, walking slowly to the ring, wasting all our time, like Randy Orton would years later. He enters the ring and the two men are about to square off when Taker boots Goldust between the legs and the bell rings for this match.

Final Curtain match: Undertaker def. Goldust w/ Marlena via pinfall in 10:23.

The rules of the Final Curtain match are not stated, but I assume that they are a “Winner leaves town,” stipulation of some kind. Taker launches Goldie from turnbuckle to turnbuckle as Irish Referee Tim White looks on. Taker hits a very high leg drop and Goldust rolls to the ouside, Marlena looking on unimpressed. Taker is hit with a chindrop and Marlena gives him a slap for good luck. Goldust hits a swinging neckbreaker and Undertaker sits right up. Fantastic suplex from Taker followed by another quick sit-up and almost three count.

Goldust takes one hell of a hip toss followed by Old School. Three minutes in and Goldust has barely had any offence as he is thrown out of the ring like a bad child. But wait… he has something illegal in his hand… a bag of gold dust! As Marlena distracts the ref (after being picked up by Taker), Goldust flings the gold dust in Taker’s face. Blinded, the Deadman is as the critic’s mercy. Goldie drives Taker’s face into the steel steps and rolls back into the ring. Taker doesn’t know what to do with himself.

Taker gets his head bounced off the Spanish announcer’s table and rolls back in the ring as Goldust feels himself up. Taker is Irish whipped into the ropes but holds on, turning slowly, his eyes still stinging from the gold dust. Taker gets beaten in the corner and Irish Referee Tim White chastises Goldust for holding a choke on too long. Taker finally fights back with a great backdrop and both men are up on their feet, still beating on each other. Undertaker is rallying as best he can and Goldust is still unable to put the Deadman away.

Marlena goes to the turnbuckle and Goldust feels himself up again, holding the Undertaker’s head at groin level. The Deadman strikes back with a choke and several body shots, sending Goldie flying. A hard Irish whip and Goldust hits a beautiful body slam. Undertaker sits up quickly, the pair run the ropes and a high jump knocks both men down. Goldust goes to the top rope but Taker hits the chokeslam on Goldie, performing the “slit throat” taunt followed by the Tombstone Piledriver for the pin in 10:23.

2016 comments:

Great match. This is starting to pick up. I love Goldust anyways, but the psychology here was wonderful. Goldust seems to be Undertaker’s equal, but his hubris is too much for him to simply win, he has to humiliate Taker and that is his downfall.

1996 comments:

Jesus Goldust is creepier than the actual dead man in the ring.

Grade: B

Undertaker reaches to the heavens, looks about for his urn but Paul Bearer is nowhere to be seen. Will Goldust leave town now? Only time will tell…

On the Card will return on October 13th with the fourth and final part of Mind Games.

Ruthless Aggression Era #2. Judgment Day 2006 (May 21, 2006) Part 2

Previously on On the Card: Judgment Day 2006 was heating up with a decent Benoit match and a regrettable Women’s Wrestling match. Can we start some momentum heading into our two main events?

Promo of the 1996 King of the Ring with Stone Cold cutting that amazing promo that elevated him to superstardom. Another reminder of the Lashley/T match later on in the night.

Gregory Helms’ music plays and down comes the artist formerly known as the Hurricane. He is the WWE Cruiserweight Champion and looks a million Dollars. Super Crazy comes down on his lawnmower. Wow. Not offensive to Latinos at all. Christ Almighty, WWE.

Luis Gonzalez is in the audience. Very exciting.

Tazz says, “look at the hair on Helms,” before Maggle goes, “Helms? You mean Crazy?” Tazz mutters something in response and the match begins.

Cruiserweight Championship match: Gregory Helms (c) def. Super Crazy via pinfall in 09:55.

Quick rollup at the start by Super Crazy followed by two more before Helms chucks him out of the ring. Crazy pulls himself back in and another rollup. Helms gets knocked over the top rope and goes for the suicide dive but the ref stops him. Crazy is not going to be deterred, however, and jumps over the ref! “ECW!” chant rises.

Super Crazy is so over here, even though he hasn’t done anything new or different that other competitors in other matches have done. Helms is pretty dazed and Super Crazy takes him to the corner for the ten-punch. He gets six. Helms hits Crazy with a great running neckbreaker followed by a standing neckbreaker followed by a reverse choke hold. Maggle and Tazz talk shite in the background. Crazy fights back and is knocked to the floor by Helms. Helms drags Crazy to the apron and smacks him a bunch. Another pin attempt.

Maggle says that Helms is glad he isn’t the Hurricane, which is nonsense because the Hurricane was brilliant. “Super Crazy!” chant rises and we have rest hold city from both men. This match is not exciting.  Lots of shots of the crowd chanting. No one cares. Helms has a side headlock on Super Crazy and minutes have gone past with very little action. Crazy is more focussed on the elastic in his pants. Finally, Crazy is up, jumping off the ropes and back to another choke hold. Helms goes to Bret’s rope, hits a double-foot nothing and Crazy is back up and fighting back.

Neither competitor can get much momentum until Crazy hits a spinning backbreaker, round of punches and standing moonsault to a two-count. He’s on the turnbuckle for a missile dropkick that gets a two-count. He goes up again, hits a moonsault but Helms rolls out of the way. He goes for the Shining Wizard, Crazy ducks it and another two-count. Maggle talks about how you can only get cruiserweights on Smackdown. Just as well if the matches are this shite.

Helms gets a rollup and the ref does a horrible job of the count, hitting his feet off Super Crazy’s feet. Some fightback and another jumping neckbreaker from Helms. Super Crazy slaps Helms, chucks him into the turnbuckle and goes for the hurricanarana. Helms counters it, goes for the pin and uses the ropes for leverage for the win in 09:55.

2016 comments:

Not great. I like Shane Helms. I like the Hurricane. I hate Gregory Helms. I’m not a huge fan of Super Crazy either. Seems like this match was just like the rest holds: time wasting.

2006 comments:

I miss the Hurricane.

Grade: C.

Helms celebrates and we cut backstage to where Melina is still on television! Who is caring about this woman other than Cameron? Melina and Nitro go to Teddy Long and complain. Teddy says he doesn’t care and Melina slaps him. Teddy fires her for it. He then fires Nitro. We don’t care.

Tazz and Maggle remind us of the King of the Ring 2000 tournament where it was Angle vs. Rikishi. Angle belly-to-belly suplexed Kish off the top rope to become King of the Ring. Very exciting. We see Anthony Robles, a one-legged boy who can wrestle. Good show.

Mark Henry’s ass-kicking music hits and the World’s Wettest Man comes out. We see him frog splash Angle through a couple of tables. Henry goes straight to the announcer’s table to get it ready for a whuppin’. He gets the mic and makes a proclamation that Kurt Angle is a damn fool who doesn’t realise that Mark Henry hurts lads, including Batista. He then pauses before calling the audience “people”, the implication being that they are not people.

Angle’s music hits and the crowd pops. Kurt Angle is great. His music is fantastic. Angle has those mental black gum shields on and runs into the ring to attack Henry.

Mark Henry def. Kurt Angle via countout in 09:11.

Mark Henry is not a great wrestler. Kurt Angle is both one of the best legit and professional wrestlers of all time. This match will balance out at being okay. Kurt has cracked ribs and Henry wastes no time in going for them. Angle does a stupid senton from Bret’s rope, landing on his head. C’mon, Kurt. You have neck problems, bro.

Angle flips over Henry and Henry decides to sit on Angle. Maggle tells us that the two men were in the Olympics together and Angle won gold where Henry won nothing. Angle goes to German suplex Henry onto the announcer’s table but Henry fights back. Submission city back in the ring as Angle beats on Mark’s leg. Henry knocks Angle down and has a wee stroll about the ring, walking off his sore knee.

Angle is on the floor and Henry hits him with a double axe handle smash to the back of his neck followed by a boot to the ribs. He then stands on Kurt’s chest because he’s an awful bastard. Tazz tells us that if your ribs are sore, your body hurts. Thanks for coming, Tazz. Little Naitch is having a go at Henry and we have camel clutch city. Mark Henry, of course, has never fucked a man nor made him humble, so it’s only a matter of time before Kurt is on his feet, fighting back. Henry lifts Angle for the World’s Strongest Slam that Angle counters into a DDT.

The two men trade blows in the middle of the ring and Angle ducks a punch to deliver a German suplex to Henry. Angle removes his singlet straps and hits Henry with an Olympic Slam. Two count. A two count for an Olympic Slam. What the fuck, boys? Henry gets him with a clothesline and gets a two-count of his own. Henry goes for the World’s Strongest Slam and Angle gets the ankle for the Ankle Lock. Henry kicks Angle out and throws him onto the announcer’s table. He goes to frog splash Angle and Kurt rolls out of the way. Little Naitch is counting Angle out and reaches ten. Mark Henry wins by countout in 09:11.

2016 comments:

Angle is so good that he makes Mark Henry look good! Waste of a match. Bad feud.

2006 comments:

I’ll have another cup of tea, I guess.

Grade: D.

It’s a sad state of affairs when Kurt Angle gets anything less than an A rating from me. Henry stares Angle down for a moment and goes to get some heat by laying Angle on the table and beating on him. Angle fights back and goes for the steel chair. One shot to the knee, four to the body and Angle hits the Ankle Lock on Henry, who taps instantly, but Angle does not let go. There are six men dragging Angle from Henry. The crowd are baying for tables and Angle breaks free to Olympic Slam Henry onto the announcer’s table, but it does not break. Angle then cracks Henry with a brutal chair shot to the head. The World’s Strongest Man falls forward, finally bursting the announcer’s table to pieces. Bad show on Angle’s part. Head shots are bad stuff, Angle.

Booker T and his mad wife Sharmell are backstage. Sharmell says that Booker T will be a better King (of the Ring) than King Arthur, King Tut, King James, Don King, Martin Luther King and King Kong. It’s an odd promo and seems a bit orgasmic. Promo showing some older King of the Ring winners and the eight lads who went in for it: Kurt Angle, Randy Orton, Matt Hardy, Booker T, Fit Finlay, Chris Benoit, Mark Henry and Bobby Lashley. Angle had to forfeit after his frog splash from Mark Henry. Some Killswitch Engage plays to show Lashley antagonising Booker T.

This is the first KotR tournament since 2002, so these two men have a lot to fight for. Booker T comes out, seemingly hypnotised by the robe, sceptre, crown and throne. Sharmell is doing her queen wave. She’s a great woman. And she’s from Gary, Indiana, which I did not realise was a real place until just there now. Apparently the Jackson 5 were born there. Tazz is not choosing sides here, saying that King Booker sounds as good as King Lashley.

Straight-up shoot fact: Sharmell was Miss Black America in 1991, which, although wonderful, suffers from the double-whammy of being a beauty pageant and being for specifically black women, as if they are not American enough to be in the normal Miss America pageant. Not that either of them should exist because fuck Donald Trump.

Lashley comes down to his generic music. He looks the business. He’s like Ahmed Johnson, only you can understand what he’s saying. Lashley jumps into the ring and gets big pops from the crowd. Fair play to him. Sharmell isn’t happy about this. Bobby and Booker are face-to-face and Bobby tosses Booker across the ring when the match starts.

King of the Ring 2006 final: Booker T w/Sharmell def. Bobby Lashley via pinfall in 09:15.

Both Lashley and T are huge, by the way. Lashley is more defined than T, but they’re both massive lads and very intimidating in the ring. Lashley uses brute force to get T into the corner and holds him there for some time. T returns the favour and Lashely fights back with an explosive suplex and a two-count followed by another two-count followed by Lashley working Booker’s arm.

T is up and gets Lashley ready for a German suplex but Bobby counters and half-German’s T on his face. Lashley and T fight for a while until Bobby actually lifts Booker into the air and places him on the turnbuckle. T dodges the spear and Bobby falls outside, where he gets a smack by the steel ring steps. Booker stomps a mudhole in him and walks it dry. T works Bobby’s arm for a while off the ropes and goes for the pin but gets only a two-count. Some smart fucker in the front row is wearing a championship belt that is shining right into the hard cam. Cut to Tazz and Maggle sans table.

T gets a great spinny clothesline from Bobby Lashley and the two men are down. When they come up, Bobby is back in control. He is fast as fuck when he needs to be. He hits T with an inverted atomic drop and Sharmell is on the apron, dristracting the ref enough for Booker to hit Lashley with his heel. He goes for the Book End, misses it and as Lashley goes to the ropes, Sharmell grabs him. Booker T hits him with the superkick, followed by the Book End. Bobby catches a lariat, turns it into a running powerslam and gets only two counts.

This match has a good amount of near falls. Good stuff. Bobby gets Booker with the spear and Sharmell is in the ring, distracting the ref. In comes Finlay, cracking Bobby with the shillelagh and gives Booker enough time to get the pin in 09:15.

2016 comments:

Great match, screwy ending, no one goes over.

2006 comments:

I have never been more embarrassed to be Irish. Fuck you, Fit Finlay.

Grade: B.

Sharmell is celebrating and the crowd is booing and with good reason. Booker deserved to win, but he deserved to win clean. Sharmell crowns her king and Lashley spears him through the throne. Sharmell still places the crown on Booker, as if it has healing powers. Great stuff, actually. When Booker gets up, he groans, “My robe… my robe, baby,” and has it wrapped around him like a child. I love this stuff.

On the Card will return on June 4th with the third and final part of Judgment Day 2006.