Previously on On the Card: Two pillars of wrestling have a decent match four years before they reach their peak.
Cut to a promo for WrestleMania XIII.
Back in the locker room, Kevin Kelly chats up Vader mit Paul Bearer. Vader says the following: “Stone Cold… Steve… Austin… You done let that canader… that… gator butt… get that canary mouth in trouble, brother.” He then gives off about Bret and Undertaker, hitting their catchphrases. P Bizzle comes over and straight-up shoots on them. Terrible promo.
Already in the ring are Doug Furnas and Philip Lafon.
British Bulldog music hits and out come Bulldog and Owen. Owen slides beneath Owen’s arms to be in front of the camera. Lovely. We see a shot where Bulldog was eliminated by Owen at Royal Rumble. Brilliant. Owen walks to Bulldog, gives him a pat on the chest and points, saying, “You.” Bulldog slaps back and says, “You,” to Owen. Owen shurgs meekly, points at himself, “Me?” he asks. Brilliant pantomime.
WWF Tag Team Championship match: Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon def. Owen Hart and the British Bulldog (c) (w/ Clarence Mason) via pin in 10:30.
I just noticed that Clarence Mason is there. Isn’t he also working for the NOD? Are Owen and Bulldog not members of the NOD? Questions…
Owen starts off and Doug start off with some lovely chain wrestling. JR puts over both men. Owen kips up and runs to the corner where Phil is there. Owen hits the Irish whip, monkey flips Lafon into a pin and the pair trade rolling near-falls. King calls Owen, “Slammy-Award Winning Owen Hart”, which is the only way to describe him. Bulldog comes in and the pair have a lovely bunch of chain wrestling. Owen kicks Phil in the corner when he gets the Irish whip. Bulldog cheers to the crowd. In the corner, with the ref distracted, Bulldog attacks Lafon. JR says, “kick right in the kidneys… right in the Ahmed Johnsons.”
Owen gives a reverse-crossbody off his brother’s rope and it rolls into a pin. Lots of pins here. Bulldog is in and they give Lafon a lovely clothesline. Bulldog stomps Lafon and there is a lovely sunset flip but ref is distracted by Owen. Bulldog does a lovely flip and gets ready for the Sharpshooter but is hurt. JR tells us that Chyna, who does not have a name yet, has been ejected from the building but that Cornette, Sunny, Rocky and Trips are on the Superstar Line. Bulldog hits a lovely long delayed suplex and Owen dives off the top rope for a cross body. They trade near falls for a bit and distract the ref. Lafon bounces Bulldog and Owen’s heads together. Bulldog and Owen argue and they chare punches. Bulldog clotheslines Owen, almost ruins his chances to retain the championship and remembers right before Owen gets down for the pin.
What the fuck is happening? Lafon is back in and hits a lovely bridging belly-to-belly but fails. Doug hits a great hurricanrana and Bulldog breaks up a pin for about the fifth time. Lovely DDT and leg drop combo. Owen hits the enziguri on Doug and both men are down. Big hot tag being built up. Bulldog hits the dropkick, Lafon does a lovely wraparound sunset slip and Owen comes in but is tossed out. Bulldog has the powerslam but Owen has the Slammy and DQs himself before Bulldog has a chance to win. Win goes to Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon in 10:30.
Very, very fast match. They crammed a twenty-minute match into ten minutes. Well done the lads.
I hope Owen kicks the shite out of Bulldog.
Bulldog is furious with Owen. He throws his tag belt away. Crowd are baying for blood. He is furious that he lost. He grabs Owen’s Slammy and throws it, breaking it. Bulldog goes for Clarence Mason and finally leaves, but not before Owen lifts Bulldog’s arms in victory. We see a replay of the times that Owen and Bulldog have argued this match. Tag Team Turmoil! Dissension in the ranks!
On the Card will return on March 16 2017 with the fifth and final part of In Your House 13: Final Four 1997.