Previously on On the Card: Fake Diesel! Owen Hart, King of Farts!
Cut to promo for HHH and references to his stock portfolio and aristocracy. We see the noble savage of Wildman Marc Mero and how their first fight came over a woman: Sable. Then we see Mr. Perfect being used as a pawn in the game to get the Intercontinental Championship as Perfect allied himself with Mero before stabbing him in the back. Then Trips stabbed Perfect in the back. And it’s all sponsored by Karate Fighters.
Sable and Mero come out to his mental Warrior pyro. JR tells us that the next time they’re going to be on the PPV is at the Alamo, where Billy Gunn and Road Dogg will be meeting Paul Levesque.
And out he comes to Ode to Joy! So he’s pro-EU is he? Nice one. Earl Hebner is there, too. JR asks if HHH and McMahon are neighbours in Greenwich, Connecticut. The bell rings as a zeppelin with the Karate Fighters logo upon it threats to wipe out the entire crowd. Oh, the humanity.
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Marc Mero (w/ Sable) def. Hunter Hearst Helmsley (c) via countout in 14:03.
Good God Almighty, it’s two men fighting over a woman, like the thugs they are. They lock up and Trips has the height advantage, though Mero has the moustache advantage. The pair have some feats of strength and some nice matwork. Trips is knocked down and Mero dances about happily. Trips botches and botches again. The announcers claim that they are trying to counter each other, but really they messed up. Knock into the barricade and some fans are pushed back. Couple of punches in the corner and Mero hits a lovely back body drop. Mero goes for the ten-punch but is countered. Both men lie on the mat for a while.
Trips goes to hit the pedigree but Mero throws him over the ropes to the outside. Trips hides behind Sable and pushes her into Mero before chucking him into the damn steel steps. JR talks some gyp about Trips being court-martialled in military school. Trips goes for the chair, hoping to get DQ’d and lose the match but keep the title but Earl stops him. Lovely backbreaker in the centre of the ring and there are some satellite problems apparently. Lovely backbreaker again and Earl isn’t in position to hit the full one-two-three. Then we have abdominal stretch city for a while as Sable hits improved time by the side of the ring. Jerry tells Sable to shut up by saying, “Shut up, Marlena… wait, no, that’s Sable.” He then says that Sable hates Trips because of his better hair.
Trips has his hand on the ropes and Earl kicks it. Trips pushes Earl and the ref pushes back. The pair argue in the corner for a while and the crowd go wild. Trips hits a top-rope-nothing and is countered by Mero. Mero hits the Atomic drop which is – according to Vince – right on his spine. Mero hits a jumping clothesline and throws Trips into the corner where he hits a Shawn Michaels spot and a head scissors. Jerry says Earl is biased. Both men go to the top rope and there’s a lovely hurricanrana followed by Mero going top-rope. Trips pushes Earl into the ropes, letting Mero fall onto his balls. A pin attempt from Trips gets nothing.
Trips goes for the Pedigree but it is countered into a catapult. Pin attempt and Trips is still in it. Mero goes to the top rope once again and hits the Merosault but Earl is hit too. Trips hits the neckbreaker, runs to get his Intercontinental belt, but Mero fights back before being hit and does the roll up. Finally, Earl rouses but Trips kicks out. Another Shawn Michaels corner toss followed by a suicide dive over the top rope. Then Goldust comes out! Fuck yes! Goldust! He’s the best!
Goldie hits Mero and Trips with the Intercontinental belt and Earl starts a countout, reaching a ten just after Wildman rolls in, meaning he wins the match by a countout but fails to win the belt.
Fun match, certainly one of the best Triple H matches so far and Wildman didn’t botch too much.
Goddammit Goldust, you pervert!
Mero is angry at this. He rolls Trips back into the ring after pushing Sable away, hits the shooting star press, attempts the pin before remembering the match is over, raises the Intercontinental belt anyways and leaves the arena. Strange, strange man. As Trips is leaving, Howard Finkel announces that Trips is still the champion and Goldust attacks him again.
On the Card will return on January 5 with the fourth part of In Your House 12: It’s Time 1996.