Previously on On the Card: Flash Funk and Leif Cassidy tear the house down! Not literally, though, that happens later.
Razor Ramon and Kane-Diesel are coming to the ring and getting super boos. Nice pyro, though.
Cut to backstage and Slammy-award winning Owen Hart along with British Bulldog and Immigration Clarence Mason are being shouted at by Kevin Kelly, who gives the lads stick for their lack of cohesion as a team. They then arrive into the arena, full of piss and vinegar, ready to kick ass, chew bubblegum and quote old movies. Before the match begins, we see Owen and Bulldog attempt to attack Steve Austin in an earlier taping of Superstars but get knocked back by Fake Diesel and Fake Razor Ramon. Owen takes the time to shout at the lads before the bell rings.
WWF Tag Team Championship: Owen Hart and the British Bulldog (w/ Clarence Mason) def. Fake Razor Ramon and Fake Diesel via pin in 10:45.
At the start, the first thing I notice is that the tag teams are in the wrong corners before moving to the right ones. Diesel beats on Diesel for a while before the strength takes over, shoving our boy Hart to the ground. Diesel tries again and Owen hits the damn kip-up.
Then Cybernetico and Pierroth appear by the side of the ring. These boys are from AAA, Asistencia Asesoría y Administración which stands for “Assistance, Assessment, and Administration”. And they are a wrestling promotion. I shouldn’t be surprised. There’s one in Japan called WAR… which stands for Wrestling and Romance.
Straight-up Shoot Fact: The AAA doesn’t really have weekly televised events like RAW or Smackdown, instead it shows traditional PPVs… until the advent of a little TV show called Lucha Underground, of course.
JR completely sells the fact that the luchas are here and taking part in the Rumble next month. One of them removes their shirt like Hogan. JR tells us that the boy with the shirt off is Cybernetico. The Luchas leave with little event and Bulldog and Razor lock up. Business just picks up as the crowd rise to see Stone Cold come out. Bulldog attacks Stone Cold and a brawl takes place. One of the cameras is hit and now has a lovely pink sheen over it. Bulldog goes back in the ring as officials drag Stone Cold back into the locker room area. Owen and Bulldog take over on Razor, yanking on his arm until Razor hits Owen with the clothesline. Huge clothesline it is as well. Owen goes to the top rope and hits a great dropkick but gets nothing.
Diesel tips Owen out and throws him into the ringpost. Razor beats on Owen and gets Diesel in who hits the huge Bossman Slam and doesn’t pin Owen. JR goes bananas, screaming, “You’re supposed to cover him!” Even though JR is heeling it up, that might have been a legit shout. Diesel is back in misses an elbow drop but keeps the control on Owen. He’s fighting back to get to Bulldog but getting nowhere. Owen hits the enziguri on Diesel, builds up to the hot tag and Bulldog is in, hits Razor with a handful of clotheslines, makes the heels hit skulls, drops the legs and gets an almost pin. Bulldog hits the suplex – such power! – and gets nothing. All four men swarm in and Diesel and Owen go over the top rope. Razor gets Bulldog in a powerbomb position, but Owen runs in, hits the spinning leg kick and Bulldog gets the pin in 10:45.
Good, exciting match near the end. It doesn’t start that way and the build up is long and boring, sadly, probably due to Razor and Diesel.
I’m beginning to like Owen but I will always hate Bulldog.
Razor pulls on the ref and gives off to him. JR complains to the crowd. Stone Cold comes in, attacks Bulldog and is removed from the premises. Then we have a long “hurt” spot with our boy Bulldog. Then he walks out.
Promo for Shawn Michael’s video, Heartbreak Express.
Vince is in the ring, introducing our boy Ahmed as he comes in to a rapturous applause. He is after Faarooq, it seems, and will stop at nothing to get him. Why does he want Faarooq? Because.
Vince tells us that Ahmed vs. Faarooq will happen at the Royal Rumble. Ahmed gives off about everything that he has lost – girlfriend, house, car – but keeps his fans. The crowd is super loud right now, so loud that the normally unintelligible Ahmed is even worse.
Nation of Domination music hits and out comes JC Ice and Wolfie D to drop some phat rhymes for you. Faarooq takes the mic, threatens everyone in the damn arena and says he’s going to forge his own race of people. Ahmed has a chance to shout back. All the NOD raise their fists apart from Crush, who drops his almost instantly. Ahmed says he wants to fight right now and the NOD leave.
On the Card will return on December 29 with the third part of In Your House 12: It’s Time 1996.