Previously on On the Card: Good Booker/Batista match and the DX/McMahon match was acceptable…
Cut to the back and King Booker is harassing Regal for not doing his job. Regal, bleeding from his head, is apologetic. Finlay turns up, says he came for two things: to fight and to take Booker’s World Heavyweight Championship. Booker blames Regal and calls him pathetic, useless and that he makes him sick. Regal fights back with a great punch to Booker, knocking the king to the ground. Booker gets so angry that he reaches for his crowd to stamp to the ground but finds that it is not there.
Cut to the pre-main-event-promo. King Booker is king. Batista is a destructive monster. Lashley is an absolute machine. Finlay… is the weak link, but the obvious superheel. Teddy Long announces the Fatal-Four-Way and all the lads beat on each other to show that there are no allegiances.
Cut to the back and Bobby is taping his wrists when Drax the Destroyer comes in. Bobby reminds Batista that they are fighting in, like, a minute. Batista tells him there will be no mercy, which is the name of the PPV.
In the ring, the rules of the Fatal-Four-Way are announced and Finlay arrives to little applause. I just noticed that he is from Belfast, Ireland as opposed to Belfast, Northern Ireland, which pleases me greatly. Toicfaidh ár lá.
Bobby’s music hits and the monster walks to the ring with his crazy eyes and no emotion on his face. He looks amazing, like a handsome Ahmed Johnson.
Batista’s music hits and there’s a pop like no other. Down he comes, doing a wee dad jog and hopping about, machine gunning his pyro and… he shaved? He shaved between his Lashley promo and now. Priorities. He runs up the steps and eyes up his enemies.
Booker’s wonderfully repetitive royal music hits and out he comes with his mad, lovely, lovely wife. Cole tells us that Booker’s palace is crumbling, which is not true as he holds no land nor titles. Cole and JBL bicker on the mic about statistics. The ref holds the belt aloft and the bell is rung.
Fatal-Four-Way match for the World Heavyweight Championship: King Booker (c) (w/ Queen Sharmell) def. Bobby Lashley, Batista and Finlay via pin in 16:52.
Finlay rolls out of the ring as soon as the bell goes and leaves Bobby and Batista to beat on Booker by the ‘buckle. Sharmell is not happy as the two friends double-team the King of the Ring. Finlay returns to batter Lashley and remove him from the situation. He turns on Batista and as Booker goes for the Irishman, there is a pause and a temporary allegiance as they attack Batista in the corner. Bobby returns and tosses Finlay out. JBL states that there will never be a pin-attempt over the two-count unless the men are isolated, which is, of course, totally true. Bobby hits a great body slam on Booker and Finlay pulls his king from the ring. Bobby chases after them and is beaten to the ground for his effort. The King and his Knight hammer mercilessly on Batista mid-ring.
Booker and Finlay continue to batter the fan favourite with some great chops and an Irish whip to the corner is followed by a betrayal by Finlay. JBL calls him a bastard. Finlay batters Booker for a while and Bobby tries to get involved but is hindered. A two-count is interrupted by Batista, who gets an arm-lock for his trouble. The veins on Batista’s arm. Batista lifts the arm-lock, hits a fireman’s suplex but Finlay holds the arm-lock on. Lashley gets involved and Finlay gets Lashley into a half-Boston-crab. Booker arrives, superkicks Finlay and attempts a pin but is broken by Batista.
It is the Animal’s turn to beat on the champ and beat he does, Irish whipping Booker into the ropes as he ducks a clothesline and retaliates with a jumping kick. Batista attempts again and this time hits the Bossman Slam on the champ. Bobby is up, though, throwing both Batista and Booker out of the ring. Finlay runs in with… the belt I think? Either way Bobby attacks him. Little Bastard sneaks in, low-blows Bobby and Finlay takes the time to batter Bobby with the shillelagh. A pin attempt, broken by Booker then another broken by Finlay.
The Irishman gets kicked in the corner and Batista is back in, taking turns to hit Booker and Finlay, finally getting Booker in a stalling jackhammer suplex but failing to get the pin. It is only Batista and Bobby in the ring. The two friends must face off. Great moment in the ring followed by a brutal spear but Bobby stays in the match. Three pin attempts, each one followed by a successful kickout by Lashley. Batista is trying everything and Bobby spinebusters Batista, busting him open. Lashley wastes no time in clotheslining the Animal, knocking him out of the ring and doing the same to Finlay. Booker hits the Book-End on Lashley but he kicks out. Bobby and Booker are mid-ring now, and a suplex is reversed into a small package.
Running the ropes and another two-count. Booker removes his hairband and is about to hit his scissor kick when Finlay arrives, breaks the count and Batista spinebusters everyone in the ring, channelling his inner Ultimate Warrior and hits Finlay with a Batista Bomb before Bobby spears him off his feet. Booker gets up, sees the carnage and pins Finlay for the win in 16:52.
Great main event. Lots of good spots, bit of blood, very frantic action and little rest holds. Tiny storylines here and there, nothing amazing, but a thoroughly enjoyable main event. Well done, lads, you left everything in the ring. Screwy finish, mind.
I have never been more impressed by these four mediocre wrestlers.
JBL and Cole argue as Booker leaves and the PPV ends with an, “All Hail King Booker!”
The Go Home Stats.
Man of the Matches: I am loath to say this, but Mr. [REDACTED] himself, Chris Benoit.
Woman of the Matches: No women’s match this time around so, once again, the best woman in the PPV is the fantastic Queen Sharmell, who was far better than Ashley Massaro, Michelle McCool and Vickie Guerrero combined.
Montel Vontavious Porter Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence: Chris Benoit!
Best Spot: Finishing spot with the triple spinebusters, Batista Bomb and spear. Very fast, very frantic, very fun.
Hatches: Jimmy Wang Yang, Sylvan, Montel Vontavious Porter, Marty Garner, KC James, Idol Stevens, Vito.
Matches: Both Paul London and Brian Kendrick retained their WWE Tag Team Championship belts and King Booker retained his World Heavyweight Championship.
Closing Statements: Probably one of the better Smackdown PPVs that I have seen. Long may this level of wrestling reign.
On the Card will return on November 5 with the RAW PPV Cyber Sunday 2006.