Previously on On the Card: MVP. Very disappointing.
Cut after a break to JBL and Cole bigging up the upcoming Falls Count Anywhere match between Chavo and Rey.
Promo for the match showing Chavo’s betrayal during Rey’s World Championship match against Booker T at The Great American Bash by hitting him with a chair. Vicky Guerrero is unhappy about this and shouts at Chavo for a while… and then ends up bopping Rey with a chair herself. Vicky cuts a promo on how she hates Rey. We see Rey botching some moves and they let on that it was caused by his mind being on the Guerroros, not because Rey is a botch machine. The Guerreros threaten Rey’s son and hold him hostage, costing him a match against Mr. Kennedy. Bastards.
The announcer claims that the “falls count anywhere” stipulation means that the falls count anywhere… within the arena. So it should just be a “falls count anywhere in the arena” match then? Vicky comes out with Chavo, described as Chavo’s “business manager”, which is nice of them considering that they could easily make them have an affair or something. JBL calls Rey a leech. Chavo wears pants that say “Warrior”.
Rey erupts from the titantron, getting a huge kiddy pop. He gives his medallion to a child, gives his shirt to another, doing his Juan Cena impression. He jumps into the ring and the bell starts the match.
Falls Count Anywhere match: Rey Mysterio def. Chavo Guerrero (w/ Vicky Guerrero) via pin in 12:10.
The two lads lock up and it’s a fast-paced beat-em-up match, the two luchas giving it loads and doing a great job of hitting the spots early including a high dropkick, a missed dropkick, a jackknife cover and a roll-through in quick succession. Cole says that the Falls Count Anywhere matches are designed to end rivalries and JBL agrees, saying that the fact that it can end in a parking lot is reason enough. I don’t understand.
Rey gets to the top rope and Chavo pops up beside him, the two men hitting each other. “Eddie! Eddie!” chants rise up as Chavo turns to the cameraman and tell him to move as he sets Rey up for a powerbomb to the outside. It takes some time as Chavo has difficulty lifting Rey. They punch each other at the same time and the concussive blast knocks both men down. Chavo beats on Rey by the barriers and jaws off to Mysterio as the two men purposely fight down the aisle to the side of the Titantron. Chavo looks about, lifts Rey into a powerbomb position and Rey holds onto the decorations, kicking Chavo and hitting the hurricanrana. They battle to the crowd and Chavo hits a dodgy throw onto the sides of the arena.
Rey reverses Chavo’s Irish whip, throwing him into a barricade and hits a weak leg drop, almost breaking his arse. Chavo is crawling away and Rey hits the running hurricanrana on him. Rey attempts a move of some description and Chavo ends up using him like a baseball bat, hammering him off the barricades and chairs. There are some pin attempts along the way but none are interesting enough to warrant note. Chavo throws Rey into the crowd and they ascend the stairs together. The fans are reaching out, grabbing them and the men are getting too close to the crowd. Mysterio hits the seated senton, hitting the cameraman.
Chavo hits Rey with a huge clothesline and they are making their way around the ring, moving constantly. JBL and Cole argue on the mic. Fuck up, boys. Rey is thrown into the barricades and Rey hits the 619 on Chavo around the barricade. We are getting dangerously close to a high-flying move and it comes as Rey hits a dodgy cross-body and gets the pin in 12:10.
Garbage wrestling, improvised and called on the fly. Not great and no memorable spots.
The crowd make this match and I must say, if I were there, the thirty seconds where I could see the match would make it all worth it.
Rey beats on Chavo as the match finishes but Vicky is there to protect him. Where did she come from? Those Guerreros are amazing. Replays of the 619 and the cross-body that finished the match. Vicky screeches like a woman possessed.
Cut to a promo for The Marine. We have Ric Flair for some reason. We see all the stars bigging up the armed forces. One of the marines says that John Cena’s catchphrase is, “don’t quit,” which is shit.
Cut to Cole talking bollocks as usual. JBL likes to talk a bit of shite as well.
Regal’s music hits and the real man’s man walks to the ring, quite besmirched. He is introduced as Sir William Regal. Great.
The crowd pops once and Benoit’s music hits. When [REDACTED] comes out, he actually smiles. What? A smile from the Rabid Wolverine? I love Benoit. I hate what he did but by God he was a great wrassler.
Chris Benoit def. William Regal via submission in 11:16.
Benoit and Regal lock up, with the crowd already chanting Benoit’s name. Regal is a wonderful, old school wrestler and the two work fantastically together. The two fall to the mat and begin arms locks and knee strikes. Benoit paces after Regal, following him around the ring like a predator. JBL states that, “Benoit has no real flaws,” which I mostly agree with. He has little personality and is terrible on the mic. Essentially, he’s a murderous Lance Storm.
Test of strength from the two men after a bunch of two-counts followed by a wonderful kip-up by Regal and leg-scissors by Benoit. This is a true wrasslin’ match. Benoit hits some brutal chops before German suplexing Regal. Benoit headbutts Regal and hits the second German suplex. Benoit goes to the top rope, busting Regal open (or at least further busting Regal open). Regal is on the apron and threatens to suplex Benoit to the outside of the Wolverine sneaks out and grabs Regal from behind, teasing the German to the outside. Benoit takes a dodgy fall to the ground followed by a close two-count, broken by his foot on the rope.
Regal is in control now, squeezing the life from Benoit. Benoit fights back and attempts the Sharpshooter. Cole says, “Take note, MVP,” and it is annoying how much he has become a butt monkey in the last few minutes. Regal gets Benoit in an abdominal stretch but the Canuck fights back with some brutal chops in the corner on Regal’s wound. The Englishman fights back with double throwing suplexes and attempts an STF, which Benoit reverses into an armbar but Regal has his foot on the ropes. Regal goes for the surfboard and choke combo. Benoit is… bleeding from the mouth, somehow.
Benoit breaks the hole and we have some full nelson reversals followed by a full nelson suplex and a slow, laborious move into the Crippler Crossface, which Regal taps out in instantly in 11:16.
As a wrasslin’ match, it was fantastic. Lots of reversals, great interconnecting moves and a wonderful Regal kip-up. As a wrestling match, however, it has no psychology and was a little slow but both men went over clean and Regal barely cheated.
You’d know the main event is coming up next.
Benoit holds in the submission hold until the ref tells him not to. Regal leaves the ring as Benoit gets a standing ovation and Cole and JBL sing praises to our man Chris Benoit. JBL tells him to “go to the back, find MVP and call him out.”
On the Card will return on October 30 with the fourth and final part of No Mercy 2006.